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Being the spouse of a police officer is not for the faint of heart. The spouse many times finds themselves married to a person who is already married – to their job, their partner, their badge. From eating at odd hours, celebrating holidays on odd days and spending nights alone, it is not always an easy life.

A cop’s spouse must always be a good listener and learn not to ask any questions. They must be understanding of the officer’s time, odd sleep schedule and time gone for continuing education. They must live with true shift work, holidays alone and ulcers in their stomach as they fear the unthinkable on a regular basis.

The spouse has to get used to words like rape, murder, child abuse and robbery. They become mainstream topics of conversations in their own home. They have to accept the fact that the officer that they love and respect so much is disliked by many. And hardest of all, they must help explain these words, ideas and theories with their children.

The spouse must accept that sometimes their husband or wife spends more time with junkies, prostitutes, dealers and murderers than they do at home. They rejoice in the good times, fear the bad times before they happen and attend many funerals.

When an officer leaves for work, their spouse kisses them, silently praying they will return. Every knock on the door makes their heart drop into their stomach as they wait for bad news.

People aren’t born into this role. It is a choice. Some can stick with it, others cannot.

The Spouse of a Police Officer: Another unsung hero in our midst.


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